Composing Goodreads Ads

Goodreads has a program where you write little classified ads to plug your book. You only pay when people click on it. It's been thoroughly enjoyable - sort of like writing a haiku, or a Burma Shave ad or something. A nice thing is you can target the ads to only show on pages of specific authors (for me that's people like Charles Yu, George Saunders, or maybe Ray Bradbury) so I don't annoy people who are, say, on the "Heaven is Real" page. Here's some attempts. They are awaiting approval. Wish me luck!

More Stories about Spaceships and Cancer
Weird/sad/funny/perverse/twee/quasi sci-fi and or literary stories from Adult Swim writer Casper Kelly (Squidbillies, Aqua Teen, Birdman)

Who needs a traditional publisher?
Apparently me. I wouldn’t be here at 3am eating cold pad thai and trying to compose Goodreads ads. Give me e-love I obviously crave.

Help! I'm trapped in a Goodreads ad!
Please add my book so I may receive my food pellet. Book title: More Stories about Spaceships and Cancer. (Does not contain spaceships or cancer.)

Sex Fantasies at Work the name a novella in this absurdist short story collection. And it delivers the goods, but in a funny way, not like Fifty Shades of Grey or anything.

I am a shy person
And I seek the love I need by writing books and tiny, tiny Goodreads ads.

Do guys read anymore?
Or are they too wrapped up in video games and our current new Golden Age of Television? Just noticing a trend where books that appeal to women seem to dominate the bestseller list. Prove me wrong, men bitches!

Mystery/Thriller Fiction is Boring as Hell
The covers all have a knife or a woman’s torso or the silhouette of a guy running. Or handcuffs. They are the McDonalds of books. Time to try that hot new Indian/Mexican fusion place you read about (metaphorically) fool!

Can you say "penis" in a Goodreads ad?
Well, now we know the answer to that. Read this book of quasi-science fiction absurdist short stories by an Adult Swim TV writer.

Where is the male version of 50 Shades of Grey?
It will never exist. Didn’t you hear? The internet has streaming video. Now read a book of funny short stories completely unrelated to what I’ve just said.

Win 50 pounds of books!

No, no. Why did I just say that? Total lie. Total lie. I think I am losing my head folks. Need to stop writing Goodreads ads and go to bed. It is 3 am. Please add this book already.

If Ray Bradbury and Raymond Carver had a baby
That would have been weird. The baby also might have written this book. (Assuming the baby grew up and was equally influenced by each parent rather than just completely rebelling and becoming like an accountant in Tucson. (Nothing against accountants. If I had money I would probably have one.)